Mario

Mario is not your average Italian. No, in fact he is so intense that giant turtles attack him. Why do they attack him? Well the story begins in American Lit. Mario is just your average 37 year old junior at Framingham High School. Not many people like him due to his extremely bad body odor. He smells so bad because he wears the same clothes every single day, and never shaves his mustache. His only friends are mushroom people and his brother Luigi. Luigi also wears the same clothes ever day and smells just as bad.
Mario arrives late to American Lit class because he is pretending to throw fire balls at people. The teacher tells him to take a seat and put some deodorant on. Mario takes his seat and is instantly attacked by thousands of house flies. The teacher starts instructing the class; Mario cannot concentrate to the lesson due to the flies. They are annoying him so much that he takes his copy of The Crucible, written by Arthur Miller, and starts hitting himself rapidly in the face. The whole class stares and takes a step back away from him. Mario sees that everyone has taken a step back and says, “What? It’s me Mario!” The class stares and starts shaking in their seats. The class continues on this way until the end of the class where the teacher assigns the homework. The homework is to study the vocabulary words which include tone, mood, and different forms of irony.
On his walk home he is suddenly attacked by a giant turtle with spikes coming out of its back. Mario instantly throws fire balls at him but nothing happens. The turtle laughs and says, “I’m the all powerful BOWSER! I’m here to destroy you Mario!”
“Yeah that’s great and all…but I kind of want to go home. I have a huge American lit test tomorrow on this vocabulary and I need to study,” says Mario.
Bowser says, “Why didn’t you say so? I’ll help you out! I majored in English in college!” Mario and Bowser study hard through the night. The next morning Bowser drives Mario to school and yells, “GOOD LUCK!” Mario has never been more ready for a test in his life. He walks into his American lit class and takes the test. He fails. Mario runs out of the school crying and runs to Bowser.
“Bowser I failed!” Mario cried.
“It’s ok Mario I have a surprise for you. I’m adopting you!” replied Bowser.
In sobs Mario cries, “I’ve never had a real father! I love you daddy!”
“I love you too son, come let’s go read the first act of The Crucible,” Said Bowser. What is the moral of this story? The moral is to wear deodorant, do not study with turtles that can talk, and always stay on top of your American lit homework. Mario and Bowser live happily ever after.
The End